Now I know how to tell you - 2020/2023

When I realized that I would soon leave my childhood home to fend for myself, my body filled with dread. I grew up in Hellevoetsluis, son of a Dutch father and a Polish mother. When I was seven, my parents divorced, and I eventually stayed with my mother and younger brother. As the eldest child in a bicultural family, a weight of responsibility fell on me, forcing me to grow up quickly. I watched my childhood fade away as I was pushed into adulthood.

In ‘Now I Know How to Tell You’ I search for this lost period of my youth in the landscape surrounding my childhood hometown. For three years, I wandered through this landscape in an attempt to make sense of what I had missed, what I could still reclaim, and what I had to let go of. The isolated, rural landscapes and the situations I encountered became a reflection of my inner turmoil.